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it’s weird how people say “follow your dreams” instead of “follow your ambitions” because once i had a dream where i worked for a place that tried to genetically engineer ducks to speak english except the ducks only criticized people’s fashion sense

(Source: neptunain)

September 20th, 2013 // 382,898 notes


my drug dealer cracks me up


September 20th, 2013 // 215,974 notes
If only I would have checked myself guy who wrecked himself (via benfoldsone)
September 20th, 2013 // 201,389 notes

My mom told me to change my “slutty” shorts before we went to dinner. I said no. So my dad cut his jeans to fit in. We went to dinner and then mini golf like this.

there’s this rock at my uni that anyone can paint on whenever they want and this is what someone painted on it today and i know i am typing in lowercase but i was legit freaking out when i saw it

a sign from the heavens